Hosting a Virtual Playdate during COVID-19
WHAT IS A VIRTUAL PLAYDATE? Are your kids bored already? Missing their friends? I know that I am. Virtual playdates are a great way to let kids of all ages connect and practice their social communication skills while maintaining safe, social distance.
WHAT DO I NEED? A digital device with a camera (such as a computer, iPad, smartphone) and family members’ or friends’ email addresses. I’m not an expert on these apps, but I did some research and here are some platforms that you can use to get connected:
Zoom: This online video-conferencing system allows you to video chat for free for 45-60 minutes with as many people as you’d like.
Caribu: Kids can read books from the 1,000-plus titles together, play games and color during a video call. I love this app because it structures ideas for you.
Facebook Messanger Kids: This app allows kids 6-12 to video chat and message friends and family with challenges, drawings, and fun filters. Plus, they can use it to collaborate on homework with a study group or talk about group projects.
Marco Polo: Think of this app as a video texting service. It’s nice because you can chat and play live in a group or, if the person you are connecting with isn’t available, the app records the message for them to view later. Note: my friends and I are using this and loving it. It’s like sending video forms of a message in a bottle.
Facetime: If you are an Apple user, you can connect with family and friends around the world with FaceTime.
Virtual Playdate Tips
TEACH EXPECTATIONS about any limits to activities and how long the playdate will go.
TEACH YOUR CHILD HOW TO USE THE CAMERA: Show your child where the camera is. Explore the range of the camera: where does the child need to stand, sit or play so that they can still be seen? Where do they need to look so that their friends can see their face? Your child may feel awkward or playful about the camera. Give younger kids some time to make silly faces and allow older kids to adjust their physical appearance if they feel self-conscious.
HOW MUCH SUPERVISION DO YOU NEED? Use your own discretion with how much supervision is needed with your child. Some children may need you in close proximity, some may be independently responsible to have the device and conduct the playdate on their own.
PRACTICE SOCIAL CONVERSATION SKILLS:
How to start a conversation. In typical in-person playdates, kids might just walk up to each other and start talkinG. In virtual playdates, they might need help kicking things off. Help them brainstorm possible questions ahead of time, or stay on the line to help the kids get started.
Asking questions. This is a great way to start or keep a conversation going. It also lets your child’s friends know that they are listening. Remind your child that people like talking about themselves, so asking about the other person will make them feel happy (e.g. “What have you done today?” or “I really like Minecraft. Do you like it?”) You can also practice topic maintenance and asking questions about the same topic.
Taking turns. Just like children need to learn to share toys with their friends, they also need to share the conversational “space”. Although children often want to tell their own stories and spend all of the time talking about themselves, they need to give their friends some time, too. You can introduce this idea like you would introduce the idea of sharing anything “When you are talking to your friend, you need to give him some time to talk, too. So you tell him your idea and then wait so that he can tell you what he thinks.”
Active listening. Along with giving friends time to talk, children need to listen to what their friends are saying. This can be hard if your child is impatient to get her next thought out or has difficulty focusing for longer periods of time. One way to explain active listening is with the idea that if she wants her friends to pay attention when she is speaking, she has to do the same for them. You can teach your child behaviors that can increase listening, and let friends know that she is listening, such as maintaining eye contact, nodding her head, and saying things like “Wow!” or “Oh cool.”
Staying in Range of the Camera and Maintaining Eye Contact. Another important piece of having a virtual playdate is staying in range of the camera and making occasional eye contact with the other person. This can be hard for some children, particularly those whose attention wanders or who feel uncomfortable with the camera. You may need to initially provide help keeping your child close to the camera.
Ending a conversation. Sometimes, young children finish talking and just abruptly walk away from the other person. It’s important to let your child know that they should say “Good-bye” or “Talk soon.” That will make it more likely that the person will want to talk with her again.
HAVE A PLAN FOR PLAYDATE ACTIVITIES:
Children are excited to see themselves on a screen, but may quickly not know what to “do” on the playdate. Here are some ideas for virtual activities:
Play 20 Questions. Have one child think of a common object and have the other ask questions or for clues to help them guess the item.
Create a progressive story! For example, one child starts with “One day I was walking and...” and the peer adds a sentence to the story. It goes back and forth (the sillier the better).
Using a deck of cards, flash a few cards to the peer and have them add them (or subtract them, or multiply them).
Play follow the leader. Have one child do a move and the other copies, then switch. We’ve enjoyed dance moves, somersaults, as well as making funny faces.
Play Charades
Play I spy
Play Battleship
Do a magic show
Put on a pet talent show
Sing songs from movies
Show off favorite toys
Hold a fashion show
Do the same craft
Crazy hat context
Read to each other
Play musical instruments
Put on a play
Have a dance-off
Do yoga
Build with blocks or legos
“Sit” by each other and color
